I've been sleeping right next to a open window to summertime and foxes and the requiem of mourning doves. No bluelight up to an hour before bed does wonders for the body, mind, and spirit; that holy, angular trinity that appears everywhere. My dreams are becoming more often and vivid, only require naturally about 6 hours of sleep. Prayer and cooking are sacred acts because they are spontaneous; I should like to be spontaneous as well. To see windows everywhere.
One of those windows opened this morning, letting in the drizzling rain that deepened the colors of the Sycamores and faded away the white spots on the fawns that followed me down the riverbank. That window was a mysterious one of moon phases, lunar majors and minors, astrological things that caused our mortal brains to buckle under their joyous divinity and would probably still bear such weight until the end of time.
It opened with wide, toothed jaws of Esox masquinongy. I'm not quite sure where I first learned of the existence of the muskellunge, but from that moment on they became a mythical river monster in my mind, not a species to be targeted but one whose existence you-know-of and encounters with are druid-like and accidental. Muskies are a strange ordeal. No fish drives anglers madder than striped bass, but muskies are a close second; however, muskie madness is different. There are no "muskie blitzes," no situation wherein a crowd casting plugs can stand shoulder to shoulder hooking muskies every cast. Muskies drive a solitary madness, the greater kind, for the weight of isolation can drive one to a greater madness of swirling thought than any sort of demented company.
I think of fishing in general like windows too, interceptions into tiny pockets of ichthyological life. Spots where you cast for hours until the ripples on the water start to blur together and you start to question insanity can become teeming with life in seconds. On this day, I worked my way down a smaller creek that drained into my beloved Delaware River where I knew muskies sometimes sat, both up in the deeper pools as well as at the creek mouth where suckers and stocked trout would get washed out. I threw a large topwater spook and managed to catch a decent smallmouth, saw some suckers, and found a newly hatched Map Turtle walking about. It felt right. It felt full of life.
I worked my way out of the creek mouth, still throwing that spook around with nothing to show for it in the river. A few carp jumped around. I almost decided to call it a day, pack up and head out. However, there was one more bend that looked good. I brought my lure over it, walking it almost all the way back to the bank, when a giant green shape comes out of nowhere and inhales the bait right at my feet, jumping clear out of the water.
I don't remember setting the hook. All I remember was the reverberations of my 8ft heavy casting rod, me wrestling with this fish in waist-deep water, all the while hoping, praying that I could land it. When I got her shallow and grabbed the tail in my hand, I screamed. This was it. This was the culmination of five years of wanting a muskie under my belt. It was surreal. I shook as I snapped a few pictures. She was still super green from the short fight and I kept her in the water for most of the time. I popped the hook out and she kicked off before I could get a proper release. Still shaking, I checked my lure and one of the hook points was broken off, a little souvenir, something taken.
I've caught a lot of fish in my life. That muskie right there probably made me happier than any singular fish ever has in my entire life. It almost felt like something divine happened, some window had to have opened, with the key being something spiritually between all of the river trash I had picked up over the years, hours and hours in the cold and rain around moving water without another soul around, or simply the dumb luck that I don't believe in. As soon as I got back into cell service range, I called Max. The first words out of my mouth were, "I did it."
A few days before that I caught that fish, Slavik and I were having dinner and talking about a muskie that he lost two winters ago. I said that right now, I think that muskie fishing is something that I could get into, but I'm not sure that I want to. Slavik responded that he thinks if I don't want to get into it, I won't. Now that I've done it once, I think I want that high again. Gonna start working on my figure-8s.